Ages 10 to 14

How Your Child May Be Developing Spiritually

• Starts to see contradictions he or she sees in the world and in religious or spiritual beliefs and practices.
• May question or reject childhood beliefs as he or she moves beyond black-and-white thinking.
• Can also develop strong, even contradictory beliefs as he or she “tries on” different ideas.
• As part of forming a distinct identity from her or his parents, begins to rely more on friends and other adults to shape beliefs and practices.
• Begins to identify or develop interests or gifts about which he or she is passionate.

• Anxiety as your child appears to question or reject your family’s spiritual beliefs, values, and practices.
• Frustration with not being able to get your child to participate in religious or spiritual activities.
• Accomplishment (and relief) as your child begins to articulate her or his own spiritual beliefs—often similar to your own.
• Pride in seeing your child develop unique gifts, talents, and passions.
• Encouragement if your child takes leadership roles in encouraging peers to participate in religious or spiritual activities and practices.

• Keep communication open, even if your child says things that scare you or disappoint you.
• Support your child in expressing her or his own emerging sense of spirituality through journaling, music, or other creative expression.
• Model your own spiritual beliefs, practices, and commitments.
• Find spiritual mentors you trust who connect with your child.
• Encourage your child to be part of positive peer groups that reinforce her or his spiritual commitments.
• Talk with other parents about what you’re experiencing, including parents with older teenagers.
• Cultivate and encourage the things that nourish your child’s passions and gifts.